Fashionably Twisted: Wear Your Dark Humor on Your Sleeve

Looking to broadcast your lack of soul? Cyanide & Happiness has T-shirts and pins just for people like you. Whether you’re an anti-social hipster or just love disturbing art on clothing, our apparel line has you covered. Rock the “Beware the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber” Tee and let everyone know your hobbies include assembling IKEA furniture incorrectly and plotting world domination. Need something subtler? The Buttshark Tee (no, not a typo) proudly displays a man-shark hybrid with questionable motives.

From ironic fashion to dangerously dark humor, we’ve designed these clothes for the kind of person who laughs during horror movies and quotes internet memes like scripture. If people often ask you, “Are you okay?” — good news, you’re the exact kind of unstable we’re looking for.

Dress to Distress

• Beware the Purple Shirted Eye Stabber (Unisex or Women’s, $20)
  Warning: This tee might provoke jealous glares or an actual eye-stabbing. Either way, you'll be unforgettable.

• Buttshark Tee ($20)
  A shark’s evolved, but it keeps its human underwear. Hilarity (and confusion) guaranteed. Friends will ask, “Why?” You’ll say, “Why not?”

• Joking Hazard Card Tees ($18.99 each)
  Featuring panels like “Drugz”, “Shrug”, or “Smiling Man”. Wear the punchline! Bonus: each shirt doubles as a test of your friends’ sense of humor.

• Only Tony Can Judge Me ($20)
  Let’s be honest, we all know too many Tonys. Might as well have a shirt for them. Works best when worn to family gatherings or court appearances.

Still not feeling the bulk of a tee? Grab an enamel pin to needle your boss’s sanity. Show off Señor Cleanfist on your lapel (because why have a clean fist when you can be Señor Cleanfist?), or clip a Purple Shirted Eye Stabber Pin ($10) on your backpack. Collect Sad Larry, Seizureman, and even Ted Bear to silently judge your coworkers every meeting. They’re small, sharp, and absolutely unmistakable.

You weren’t born to blend in. You were born to make people uncomfortable in the best way. Whether you're headed to work, class, or just wandering around looking suspicious, this gear helps you wear your weird like a badge of honor.

Life’s too short for boring clothes and vanilla humor. Dress in chaos, wear your insanity proudly, and maybe start a conversation… or a small riot. Don’t settle for being normal – head over to the Cyanide & Happiness Store and deck yourself out in the darkest duds around!

Ready to upgrade your wardrobe to nightmare fuel? Visit the store and snag these twisted threads today. Who needs therapy when you’ve got T-shirts that do all the screaming for you?
And let’s face it—nothing says “don’t talk to me unless you’re unhinged too” like a cartoon stabbing someone in the eye.
These aren’t just clothes; they’re warning labels with sleeves.
Perfect for parties, protests, or pretending you’re functional during a Monday meeting.
Wear them to job interviews (results may vary), funerals (not recommended), or Tinder dates (surprisingly effective).
Each design is backed by hours of psychological instability and at least one therapist’s professional concern.
Forget fashion trends—these shirts are a lifestyle, a cry for help, and a punchline all rolled into one.
Your closet called. It’s tired of being basic.
Even laundry day gets more interesting when your spin cycle includes Buttshark.
Friends not laughing? Get new friends. Or just stand there silently until they leave.
Point is: these threads don’t just make statements—they shout them through a bullhorn dipped in sarcasm.